If it helps this year, pretend that any mention of the word
"valentine" refers to one of its rare or obsolete
senses. For instance, sense 4b in the Oxford English Dictionary:
"A sealed letter from the Crown to landholders for the
apprehension of persons offending against the law." When
you're asked, "So, did you get any valentines this year?"
you can say, "Of course not." You're not a landholder;
the idea is ridiculous.
Or protect your heart with sense 5: "A British type
of heavy tank, much used during the war of 1939-45."
(That would be World War II, I suppose.) If you say to someone,
"Be my valentine!" and they reply, "Sorry,"
you can parry with, "No, no, I mean the tank." And
walk away with the sweet taste of avoided defeat.
You see? Things are not so bad.
Tom Howell ain't scared